My son, I am wandering around my house thinking aboout my life and how your death has affected everything about it. I am also thinking that YOU ARE GONE and that even though I will be missing you that doesn't stop me from keeping you close in my heart until I am with you again when I die. I am thinking that I have to get over my survivor guilt.That as grandma said "life is for the living".I have so many things to do in my life. I am sorry you left us as you did but you made that choice and now we all have to go on and I don't want to be angry anymore........ When Scott and I go to Arturo's it will be to see what you left (if anything) there for us,and to say goodbye in the place you left from.. So,I just want to feel as though I am doing the right thing for myself,you and the people here you left behind.We all LOve you so much and are all trying to go on as best we can.. LOve you my son, Mom