Well my Son I wanted a place that was private for Myself,Tony and Sophia to be able to express ourselves to you how we feel..There is much pain,sadness,anger,etc.with your killing yourself and I just want for us to let it out for we are still here holding on to these feelings and you are gone to your glory.....We are left here holding the bag of grief so Donny we are going to let all of our feelings out.Tony and Sophia please tell how you feel to help heal yourself of the hole in your heart of Donny's death......I am not wanting to do this to read what you feel but to allow you to LET IT OUT so you can feel better...Here I go.... Donny You ARE my son and I can't say you WERE my son because that feels as though I am letting you go away and I can't bear that right now..You hung yourself and I keep thinking about that and WHY you could do that to yourself...You left us in so much agony over losing our ability to express more love and support to you in your struggle with alcohol,depression,loneliness and whatever else was bothering you.I feel guilty for going on and I want to ask you over and over WHY???? What about your daughter? Wasn't she a reason to stay and fight the problems to help raise her and to see her grow up and feel joy in her accomplishments and to help her when she stumbles in life? How can you help her now???Theses are all how I feel and I need to express this ...I love you and will never get to say that to you personally ever again or ever hug or kiss you or ever hear your voice talk to me or tell me you love me!!!!! I HURT SO BADD DONNY. I MISS YOU SOOOOOOOO MUCH. I FEEL LIKE I HAVE A PERMANENT LUMP IN MY THROAT THAT IS THERE ABOUT YOU AND MY PAIN OF LOSING YOU SO SUDDENLY AND SO HORRIBLY..YESTERDAY A NURSE DEBBIE WHO WORKS IN THE ICU WAS HUGGING ME AND TELLING ME HOW SORRY SHE WAS AND THAT SHE HAS KIDS YOUR AGE TOO AND SHE WAS IN TEARS AND I JUST WAS TRYING TO BE STRONG AND WAS TELLING HER "IT'S OK,I'M ALRIGHT" BUT I JUST WANT TO SCREAM IT'S NOT OK!!!!!!!!!!!!! I/WE HAVE TO LIVE FOR EACH OTHER,OUR PARTNERS,OURSELVES,OUR CHILDREN,OUR PARENTS..PEOPLE SAY SUICIDE IS THE COWRDS WAY OUT,,I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT.I THINK IT IS THE ONLY WAY OUT OF YOUR PAIN FOR SOME WHO CAN'T FIGHT THE DEMONS ANYMORE... I love you so much and will talk to you more.