I sometimes feel like all I want to do is come to see you where you are now but it is not my time and I have many things that I have yet to do here on this earth. It is just so painful to be here without you.....God I just want to feel better about your being gone and I think it is going to be a long time before that happens and in the meantimne I am pushing people away in my private grief..I feel as though Scott is already sick of it and of my sadness..Sometimes Donny I don't care who I hurt because I HURT SO BAD..I can't be strong for grandma or Theresa or anyone else who only want to talk about how sad they feel about their losses.Well fuck their loss and leave me the fuck alone since I am not able to give ANY COMFORT AT THIS TIME>>>>LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE IF YOU ONLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT HOW YOU FEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!